


Compliments

by WinglessCrows



Series: Through the Eyes of a Cook [42]
Category: One Piece
Genre: Canon Compliant, Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, Friendship, Post-Whole Cake Island, Whole Cake Island Arc
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-14
Updated: 2018-07-14
Packaged: 2019-05-27 08:06:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15020291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WinglessCrows/pseuds/WinglessCrows
Summary: Luffy always gave out compliments left and right. Actually, Sanji was sure that half of the words out of his mouth was some sort of compliment.





	Compliments

Luffy always gave out compliments left and right. Actually, Sanji was sure that half of the words out of his mouth was some sort of compliment. Some were easy to catch like: "Sanji makes the best food in the world!" whenever he invited yet another guest onto the Sunny. Some where used to prove other people wrong like saying: "I think this soup is delicious," when everyone else said it was disgusting. And some, and Sanji had noticed that there were a lot of these, were making a point like when Luffy said: "You put all our favorite foods in here!". Sanji both hated and loved the compliments.

Right now was one of the times where he hated it. He wish he'd never heard the words come out Luffy's mouth, he wished that he could erase the memory of the compliment or maybe even the compliment itself. Because he knew exactly what Luffy was doing. Sanji knew that he was fighting a losing battle, he'd known he had lost the moment Luffy had started eating. Luffy knew it too. That was the point of the compliment.

Sanji rejected it by claiming Luffy was lying. It was easier that way. Of course, he knew Luffy didn't have it in him to lie, least of all to Sanji, so he settled for turning his back to him. It would be too hard to look at him. And Sanji knew resistance was futile, but he tried his best anyway, even if his best were three bullshit excuses he knew were worth nothing.

He told Luffy he disrespected him, dishonoured him, but he knew that if apologized it'd be fine. It was like with Usopp. His actions hadn't been acceptable, but as long as he wound up being the one to ask for forgiveness, it'd be fine. Luffy wasn't going to make the mistake he did with Usopp, but he did help Sanji all he could. So instead of saying it didn't matter, he just looked like the fight they'd had was the least of their problems.

He told Luffy that Zeff was in danger. Had this been only hours ago this statement had more to offer, but he already knew that there was a bigger chance of Zeff being struck by a meteor. Reiju had told him as much and considering what Big Mom was planning, it seemed the logical conclusion. So while the threat might have been the thing that could have made Luffy hesitate, both of them were aware of the weak push from Sanji.

He told Luffy that the Vinsmokes were being framed, and he told them that he didn't want them to die, even if he hated them all. This was the truth, but he also knew the all he had to do was ask for help and he'd get it. Saving the Vinsmokes and saving Sanji weren't exclusives. Both could be done... but Sanji. He didn't feel like he deserved to be saved. He knew Luffy would do it, but he couldn't find it in himself to voice his own desires. It felt selfish and he didn't deserve selfish. Not now, not ever. He pretty much told Luffy as much when tried to make him leave for the last time.

He hadn't exactly expected Luffy to punch him in the face. And the funny thing? Sanji didn't even feel pain (despite being all swollen under that weird mask of his), he just felt nostalgic. He vaguely remembered getting slapped across the face another time he'd refuse to act selfish. He wasn't entirely sure what had been said at that time, but that might have been because of Luffy's words ringing so clearly in the air around them:

"Tell me the truth."

There were so many things Sanji could escape at that moment. The cold of the rain, his wet clothes clinging uncomfortably to his bruised skin, the sting on his left cheek, the sound of water droplets landing on metal armour all around him, hell, even his own strained breathing, but not those eyes. Those big dark eyes staring down at him with an intensity that told him that if the next words out of his mouth wasn't his own wish, he'd definitely regret it. Sanji wasn't even sure what Luffy would do to him. Punch him again maybe? No, that didn't seem likely. Disown him and tell him that he'd changed his mind and would leave without him after all? Definitely not. Kill him? A laughable notion really.

No. Sanji had a weird feeling that Luffy would do something much more destructive. This island seemed to be the cause of a lot of shit. Maybe he would burn it to the ground. For some reason, Sanji didn't think that too far-fetched.

So Sanji wondered what he should say. For a brief second, he contemplated lying again. Making up something about wanting to get married, but even if was the best liar in the world, Luffy would see through any lie he'd tell here. Why? Sanji, again, wasn't entirely sure. Maybe because Luffy was smart, or because he knew Sanji better than any of them knew the kitchen of the Sunny. Or maybe because, deep down, Sanji didn't want to lie. Maybe he wanted to be saved after all. And so he thought, if he was saved, if he was finally free to do what he wanted, what would he do? The answer was simple really. The image was there every time he closed his eyes, and they were here now, even with his eyes open. Because Luffy was right in front of him, not allowing Sanji to look away from him.

It was funny really. How tears felt so different from rain. Like they carried all of Sanji's emotions and once they started leaking, trailing down his cheeks, his emotions seemed to flow as well. For a moment, he was sacred that the lump in his throat wouldn't even allow him to speak, but, surprisingly, the words came easy. Like he'd been waiting to say them for a long long time.

"I wanna..." When had he last started a sentence like that? He wouldn't be able to tell you. In fact, Sanji was sure he'd never used those words in a genuine context. He'd always used the words to help someone else then himself: ' _I want a lock to the fridge'_  (We need to ration our food). ' _I wanna go to the market'_  (I heard they had the most exquisite meat. Luffy would love it).  _'I wanna stay on fishman island for another week'_  (The New World is cruel and here were all together, safe and happy. Let's savour it for a while longer).  _I wanna..._ "Go home to Sunny."

And that was it. That was what he wanted more than anything. He didn't need anything else in this world. He could live without women, without fine food and clothes, without ever finding the All Blue. What he wanted was to know that whenever he opened his eyes he'd find himself in a familiar surrounding, and he'd feel like he belonged. He wanted to go home to where a stupid swordsman would yell insults and whisper respect. He wanted to go home to where tangerines were always fresh and long ginger hair waved in the wind and predicted the unpredictable. He wanted to go home to cold nights in the kitchen accompanied by warm drinks and unbelievable stories that kept them warm with laughter. He wanted to go home to enthusiastic talks about herbs and spices and a blue nose telling them all apart. He wanted to go home to late nights in the crow's nest with coffee, books and giggles. He wanted to go home to the smell of cola and fun inventions that lit up the day, sometimes quite literally. He wanted to go home to morning songs and evening lullabies.

He wanted to go home to compliments. Compliments on his good food and awesome kicks. Compliments on his creativity and his intelligence. Compliments that sometimes made him forget that he didn't deserve them. Compliments that made him feel like he did deserved them.

But Sanji was strangely aware that he didn't deserve them. Sometimes Luffy would give him the strength to believe that he did, but right now he didn't. Right now, Luffy was having the opposite effect. At this moment, Luffy had sacrificed too much for him for Sanji to be able to accept his strength. Through his tears, Sanji told him as much. He expected Luffy to be disappointed at seeing how weak he was, but as he looked up, he just saw that smile that he so desperately wanted to go home to.

"We're here for you," he said and Sanji came apart.

* * *

They had been sailing for a couple of days. Whole Cake Island and Germa Kingdom were far behind them. Sanji knew this for sure, because he had watched as their silhouettes disappeared in the horizon. He was in the kitchen. He usually was. He had spend more time here than usually, but he still needed time to adjust. He knew he'd been forgiven long ago (deep down he knew there had been nothing to forgive), but he also knew that he had said close to nothing about anything.

They had been quick to pick up on the way his hands would shake at the mention of the Vinsmokes, but he hadn't given an explanation and they'd been respectful not to pry. He could see it in their eyes though. The way they looked like they wanted to comfort him, but was afraid that he'd run away. Sanji was afraid of that too. He'd always told himself that he didn't mention his past because it didn't matter, and maybe once that had been the truth, but now? Now that the past was practically the present, he wasn't so sure.

It wasn't that he was afraid to open up or be perceived as weak, no, he was far beyond that. It was the fear that old wounds would open. Fear that he'd go back to waking up after a nightmare, drenched in sweat, cheeks stained from crying and lungs gasping for air. Fear that he couldn't hold a knife without trembling. Fear that he'd find himself breaking down over nothing when they needed him to be strong. Fear that his shortcomings would show themselves. Fear that they'd gone through so much for him and in the end find out that he wasn't worth it.

His hands were trembling again, and Sanji reached for the cinnamon he kept close.

"I'm sorry," a voice said, and for a second Sanji thought he had been the one to say it, but it continued, "I thought I had saved you."

Luffy's hand reached for the cinnamon, and he gave it to Sanji, "Come sit with me?" He pleaded, and as if Sanji had answered, Luffy took his hand and guided him outside.

The sun was setting. Dinner needed to be ready within the hour, but it was okay. Sanji had time for Luffy. He always had. They went to the front of the ship and for a moment, Sanji thought Luffy was going to sit on the figurehead as he so often did. Instead he just sat down by the railing and, still holding his hand, Sanji sat with him.

It was still warm outside and Sanji's pink shirt allowed the cool breeze to caress his skin. He'd been wearing very casual clothes ever since he'd taken off and burnt the clothes given to him by the Vinsmokes. At some point he'd found that he didn't own much that wasn't formal wear and had started using Usopp's clothes. He wasn't there to complain anyway. But it was nice. Wearing something that smelled like home made gunpowder and exotic plants.

"Why did you apologize?" Sanji asked slowly. A gust of wind had Luffy holding onto his hat and when it was gone Sanji found the hat placed on his own head rather than his captain's. This was the third time he'd work the hat. The first had been when they'd been walking away from an island on fire. The second had been when the island was out of sight.

"You're a kind person," Luffy said, forcing another compliment on him, "Did you know that?"

Sanji remembered Reiju's words...  _kinder than anyone..._ "I've been told," he answered.

"But you don't believe it," Luffy concluded. Sanji didn't know if he was right, "I've been trying to make you believe it."

"I don't understand," Sanji answered all too fast. Though the more the he thought about it, the more confused he got, so it didn't matter.

"You're a great cook," Luffy said and Sanji blinked, trying to follow the conversation, "The best cook in the world." Sanji blinked again and Luffy made a gesture, emphasizing  _the world._

"You're a strong fighter," Luffy made a punching motion and clicked his tongue, "Worth a thousand men." He smiled at Sanji and let his fist fall again.

"You're smart," he said and brushed a lock of hair out of Sanji's face, "Able to outsmart all our enemies."

"You're kind," he took his hand again, "Kinder than anyone."

Luffy smiled: "Want me to continue or is that enough for today?"

"I don't understand," Sanji said again, this time on the verge of tears. He didn't know if he wanted to reject or accept the compliments.

A warmth suddenly surrounded him, and he found himself hugging back, not really wanting to let go.

"Can I ask you to do something for me?" Luffy whispered. If Sanji didn't know any better, he would think that Luffy was close to tears as well.

"Anything," Sanji breathed,  _I'd do anything for you._

"Whenever you feel like you don't matter," Sanji felt something wet land on his shoulder, "I just want you to remember this:"

Sanji held his breath.

Luffy held him tight.

"I love you."


End file.
